


Heavy

by mitigates



Series: Songfics [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aftercare, Child Death, Depression, Lack of self care, M/M, PTSD, Teacher Sugawara, bad ptsd, cop daichi, friends helping friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:01:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24888811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mitigates/pseuds/mitigates
Summary: Daichi has been out of sorts after a particularly hard case really got to him. This takes place after. (There are some descriptions of the case Daichi dealt with. I might expand on this, I'm not sure yet. I love DaiSuga. This was also significantly longer than I thought it would be.)
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Shimizu Kiyoko/Tanaka Ryuunosuke
Series: Songfics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1800937
Comments: 3
Kudos: 49





	Heavy

Daichi buried his face in his calloused hands and sighed against them. He’d been up for God knows how long. He hadn’t slept more than a couple of hours at a time in almost a week. They had just finished the worst case that he has ever been a part of. He closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep again.

Daichi was a homicide detective and had been for almost 10 years. He had tragic cases before, easy cases, shitty cases, cases that wouldn’t end, and cases that ended too fast: but there was nothing else like the one they just closed.

Daichi and his partner, Hayato Ikejiri, worked themselves to the bone during that case and his sleepless nights were proof of it. Thankfully, Ikejiri wasn’t taking it as badly as Daichi was. Daichi was the first one on the scene after the local police alerted the homicide division. Nothing could have prepared him for what he was about to witness.

* * *

He had seen too many dead bodies to count over the years, coming up as a street cop then being promoted to detective, he had been involved in so much shit, but still...when he walked into that apartment, he was not prepared.

The first thing he saw was padlocks. They were on everything, the doors, the windows, the outlets, the fridge, the cabinets, everything that could be locked up in the apartment was locked. He didn’t get a lot of information over the initial call. Apparently the first responding officer was too distraught to properly communicate anything other than the building being clear and that there were at least 3 dead.

There was blood in the kitchen, all over the floor. Not a significant amount, but enough to notice. There were holes in the walls, spatters of blood around each opening.

There was more blood in the hallway, a significant amount in the bathroom. The bathtub was where the first body was. She couldn’t have been more than 8. She might have had soft chestnut brown hair that was wavy when she brushed it out, but when Daichi saw her hair it was matted with blood, stuck to her face. 

He analyzed the scene as best as he could then went to the next room, there was another body, a younger body, in the bedroom opposite the bathroom. He didn’t realize his hand was shaking until Ikejiri pointed it out. 

The second bedroom held a boy, a sweet-faced beautiful boy no more than 6. He didn’t have any obvious injuries as Diachi approached his malnourished body, but they became more obvious the closer he became. 

His bones were sticking out of his body, his skin-tight around the hard parts of him due to lack of food. He could taste the vomit in the back of his throat, but he managed to keep it down.

“The third is in here.” Ikejiri motioned toward the last bedroom. The last bedroom was the worst of all, Daichi knew it would be before he even stepped foot in there. The blood trails led into that bedroom. There was a small handprint smeared across the doorframe. He took a deep breath and prepared himself. 

The last one was the smallest, she looked to be around 3 or 4 years old. Her eyes were still open, clear lifeless spheres staring straight at him. He got closer to examine her battered body when she moved. It was the smallest movement, but she twitched.

“Did you- Did you see-” Daichi stuttered and took a small step towards her. 

Ikejiri stared at Daichi. “No- Daichi- she’s dead.”

“No- LOOK SHE’S MOVING!” Daichi lunged toward the girl as she blinked. 

“Daichi, please-” Ikejiri’s voice was gruff and laced with worry.

Daich squeezed his eyes shut and opened them again. She moved again.

“Holy fuck- GET THE EMT’S BACK IN HERE NOW! CALL A BUS!” Ikejiri screamed as he watched her hand move inches toward Daichi.

Daichi knelt next to her. She shouldn’t be alive, there was no reason she should be alive. He was pretty positive he could see brain matter on the bed. He reached out and touched her hand. “Hi, princess.” He choked the words out. He squeezed her hand and her head fell to the side from its awkward angle, there was the smallest spark of life in the darkest part of her iris. “It’s going to be okay, I’m right here-” He reached out to stroke her hair, not caring that he now had blood on his fingers. “It’s going to be okay, love. I’ll take care of you.”

Daichi watched as she tried to reach for it, whether it was her consciously reaching for him or an unconscious twitch of the last of her life leaving her body, he whispered praises to her until the smallest gasp of a final breath filled the air.

_I don’t like my mind right now, stacking up problems that are so unnecessary._

_I wish that I could slow things down, I try to let go but there’s comfort in the panic_

* * *

Another gasp filled the air as Daichi woke up struggling to breathe. He swung his legs off the side of the bed and clutched his chest. He blindly reached for the water bottle he kept next to his bed, his eyes still adjusting to the darkness. 

He fell forward and off of the bed, gasping against as his knees hit the floor. 

“Daichi?” A worried voice yanked Daichi back to reality. The bedside lamp turned on and light illuminated the room. He was at Daichi’s side before Daichi could wheeze another breath. “Daichi-” The pale-haired man lifted both of his hands to Daichi’s face, moving his thumbs along his cheekbones, that always worked to help calm him down.

“Koushi-” Daichi’s eyes were wide and wild, darting around the room as he came down from the fourth panic attack he had since they closed the case.

“I’m right here.” Koushi Sawamura pulled Daichi against his chest and held him as tight as his leaner frame could until his breathing became steady. “I’m right here.” He repeated against the top of Daichi’s head.

_And I drive myself crazy, thinking everything’s about me_

_Yeah, I drive myself crazy, ‘cause I can’t escape the gravity_

Koushi stroked his husband’s hair until his breathing was rhythmic and slow, the controlled rising and falling of his chest indicating he was back asleep.

Koushi wasn’t oblivious, he knew Daichi was going through something and had been for months. He heard about the case on the news, it was a vile murder that shot to the headlines of every website, newspaper, and television channel. It hit especially close to home when not only Daichi was assigned to the case, but when the victim’s names came out: Koushi realized one of the children was in his kindergarten class the year before. His name was Eiji and his name meant great peace and he died the least peaceful way possible. He, alongside his siblings, were battered and broken by someone who was supposed to love them. Koushi couldn’t bring himself to think about it and his heart was shattering at what Daichi had to deal with. The only thing he was thankful for was that the parents plead guilty and didn’t fight at the trial at all.

However, Daichi wasn’t sleeping. He was barely eating. He wasn’t going to the gym to decompress like he normally did. He was mostly laying in bed or sitting in front of the TV with a blank expression. His stubble had started to overgrow his face and he just looked so exhausted. Koushi continued going to work and he had a hard time leaving every morning after seeing Daichi’s listless expression. It took him four days just to convince him to shower.

Koushi let Daichi sleep against his thigh as long as he could, wanting the raven-haired man to get as much rest as he could. He stirred awake a few hours later and glanced up at Koushi who was fast asleep, leaning back against the bed, softly snoring.

Daichi gently lifted himself out of Koushi’s arms.

* * *

Daichi padded into the bathroom and gripped the sides of the sink. He sighed quietly then looked up at the mirror. That was a mistake.

_I’m holding on, why is everything so heavy?_

_Holding on, so much more than I can carry_

There were deep dark bags under his eyes that matched the dull brown color of his eyes. His hair looked greasy and too long. His facial hair was definitely too long, he rarely grew it out and when he did he was at least consciously aware of it. He pursed his lips and reached for his razor. He changed the blade for a fresh one. He rubbed warm water on his face and quickly washed it with something of Koushi’s that smelled like pine and fresh grass. He grabbed the shave oil Koushi bought him to feel better a few weeks ago. It was unopened and untouched. He opened the cap, removed the protective lid, and rubbed it onto his face. He reached into the bag that had more self-care items and felt a new shaving cream as well. 

He shaved slowly, thankful that his hand stopped shaking at least for that moment. He wiped his face and looked up into the mirror again, his face clean as it usually was. 

_I keep dragging around what’s bringing me down,_

_If I just let go, I’d be set free._

_Holding on, why is everything so heavy?_

Daichi put everything away, cleaned the sink, and found himself in the kitchen. The thought of eating made his nauseous, but he knew he needed to. There was one thing in the world he could go for right now-

“There’s some leftover onigiri and shoyu ramen from last night.”

Daichi gave Koushi a small grateful smile and his smile grew a little wider when he saw his husband’s eyes light up as he nodded. “Please.”

Koushi heated up the food and served it not long after. He settled across from Daichi and watched him eat with significantly less hesitation than he’s seen lately. His heart soared. He wanted to ask him how he was going and let him cry if he needed to, but he didn’t want him to shut down again. He decided to let Daichi come to him, however slow that may be.

“You don’t work today?” Daichi asked as he set his plate in the sink.

Koushi smiled wistfully. “Not for another few weeks.”

“Taking some time off?” Daichi turned, leaning against the counter.

Koushi furrowed his eyebrows together. He realized more and more each day just how affected by that case Daichi was. “It’s winter, love.”

Daichi nodded but still looked confused. “I noticed, it looks freezing outside. Is the weather too bad to go to school?”

Koushi frowned. “It’s Christmas in a couple of days.”

Daichi’s eyes widened as he realized what month it was. “It’s-it’s not-” Daichi shook his head slowly. “It’s not- Koushi, what? It’s not December.”

Koushi leaned back in his chair slightly. “Yes, it is-”

“No, it’s NOT!” Daichi said the last word louder. His pupils were dilated and he was starting to sweat.

“Let me show you. It’s December twenty-” Koushi started to get out of his chair.

“NO!” Daichi yelled. Koushi flinched and fell back into his chair as if Daichi’s yell had the physical strength of a gust of wind. Daichi started shaking his head and stomped into their bedroom. Koushi pinched the sleeve of his long sleep shirt and looked down at his hands. He looked up again as Daichi emerged from their room, fully dressed.

“Where are you going?” 

“Out.” Daichi slammed the door behind him.

Koushi couldn’t help the tears that started to fall.

* * *

_You say that I’m paranoid, but I’m pretty sure that water’s out to get me_

_It’s not like I made the choice to let my mind stay so fucking messy_

The frigid winter breeze felt like a slap to the face as Daichi made his way down the 3 stairs that led to their home. He tightened his scarf around his chin and zipped up his jacket.

It was December? How long has it been December? He pulled out his phone and it was December 20th.

How- How did he lose track of time that badly that he didn’t remember going handing out candy for Halloween? Koushi LOVED Halloween, he loves dressing up in a couple’s costumes and handing out candy then going to one of their friend’s parties. They would get drunk and happy and end up sloppily making out in the back of a cab before having the top half of each other’s costumes off before they made it through their front door. 

How did he miss the entire month of November? They LOVED Thanksgiving. Ever since they moved to California with a handful of their friends, they celebrated it every single year. Sometimes they celebrated it twice a year and had a half-giving in May. They made a huge deal out of it, it was at a different friend’s house every year- this year, fuck! Whose house was it supposed to be at? Why couldn’t he remember? Why couldn’t he remember what they did for Thanksgiving? Did they really not do anything? Was he working?

He couldn’t remember the traditional foods that their American friends would always bring or the amazing American food that Koushi had learned to cook and perfect over the years. Did he really just forget about it? Why hadn’t Koushi said anything?

Especially with Christmas around the corner, more than anything Daichi would always get sucked into the holiday spirit as soon as Thanksgiving was over. He would start decorating the house, putting up Christmas lights outside and inflatable snowmen, and the same Rudolph they’ve had for almost their entire relationship.

He thought back to how the house looked and there wasn’t anything, not a single decoration.

_I know I’m not the center of the universe but you keep spinnin’ ‘round me just the same_

Daichi pulled his phone out and dialed his other best friend’s number. It rang four times before he finally answered.

“Koushi?”

“What? No, it’s Daichi-”

“Daichi?”

He could hear someone gasp in the background. “Why would you think Koushi is calling you on my phone?”

Asahi’s hesitation was clear even digitally. “Oh uh- sorry, didn’t really look at the caller ID. I just saw the phone of the two of you and-”

“Does Koushi call you more than me? I call you all the time!” Daichi exclaimed impatiently.

“All the time?”

For the first time since he could remember, Asahi sounded annoyed. Daichi heard a voice in the background asking if he really just said that. “Is that Noya?”

“Yes- wait, Noya! Noya- stop!-” there were the sounds of a scuffle until Noya popped onto the phone.

“Hello? Daichi?”

“Yes, Noya?”

“Why are you calling?”

“What do you mean why? Why can’t I talk to my best friend?”

Noya scoffed. “Your best friend- seriously?”

“I don’t understand-”

“Of course you don’t. Of course, you don’t understand. Maybe if you’d answered your phone to say anything other than ‘stop calling me’ in the past four months you would understand that Asahi doesn’t want to speak to you.” Noya snapped into the phone. 

The line went dead.

Daichi tried to call back, but it went to voicemail. He tried again but still no luck. “Shit.” He cursed to himself. He scrolled through his text messages and was appalled at what he saw. How checked out was he?

There were messages that were read but never responded to dating back 2 months when they eventually just stopped texting him. The only one that even continued trying was Koushi. He clutched his chest as he read through the angry messages from Noya after skimming through the heartfelt ones from Asahi. 

Asahi’s mother died in late August. Daichi remembered that she hadn’t been doing well for a while, but he couldn’t remember that she passed away. He couldn’t remember not replying to any of his messages when he clearly needed support. He couldn’t remember receiving all the angry outbursts from Noya after he didn’t respond to Asahi. 

He felt tears sting at the corners of both of his eyes. It really was December.

* * *

_I know I’m not the center of the universe but you keep spinnin’ ‘round me just the same_

Daichi looked up at his apartment and saw the light in the living room turn off. It felt like a sign. He didn’t even know if he should go back. He should have grabbed his keys.

He scrolled through his phone again and dialed another number, the one person he knew wouldn’t fault him for anything that had happened.

He answered on the second ring. “Daichi! Daichi is that really you? I haven’t talked to you in forever! How are you?”

Daichi let the breath he was holding go. “Hinata, hi, I’m sorry to call so early-”

“No, that’s fine, I was already awake. Why are you up? It’s like 6 am!” Hinata asked excitedly.

Daichi sighed softly. “I just needed someone to talk to- are you still living down the street?” Daichi asked because he wasn’t sure what else he had missed in the last few months.

“Oh, no, not anymore. Well, not that direction. I’m a little closer, but to your left instead of your right now. I moved in with Kageyama finally. I asked him like 5 million times to move in with me but he kept saying no. I finally asked if I should move in with him and I was living with him the next day!” Hinata rambled on about how Kageyama was the best roommate ever unless he was yelling at Hinata for no reason. 

Daichi didn’t even know they had gotten together. Last he heard, Hinata was dating Yahi and had been for quite some time. He choked back a sob which made Hinata stop talking.

“Daichi? Are you okay?” Hinata’s concern drifted through the receiver.

“No- Hinata. No, I’m not- I need-” Daichi rubbed his face hard with his hands.

“Where are you? I can come to get you.” Hinata’s voice was low but insistent.

“I’m walking to the left, what’s your address?”

“Daichi, no! It’s 20 degrees outside!”

Daichi heard a lot of shuffling as he shivered violently, slowly realizing how cold it was. He heard an engine start a few seconds later. Daichi was sitting in Hinata’s living room a few minutes later listening to the little orange-haired wonder scold him about walking in the cold with a pair of pajama pants and only one pair of socks. He continued chastising Daichi as he made him tea and brought out a foot bath.

“Hinata- I really don’t need-”

“-and Daichi seriously! You’re older now, you shouldn’t be so irresponsible! What if you go home and get Koushi sick? Then gets his kids sick at school then everyone is sick and you’re the outbreak monkey!” Hinata knelt in front of Daichi and pulled his shoes off.

Daichi didn’t really know what else to do so he just sat there and watched Hinata.

“You seem like you’re doing a bit better, are you?” Hinata asked brightly. “You looked better since I saw you last.”

“Can I ask something without me sounding crazy?” Daichi started. Hinata glanced up at him and nodded, returning his attention to the settings on the footbath. “When was the last time you saw me?”

“Uh- I mean, I’ve seen you a lot lately, but usually when I’m at your place hanging out with Koushi and Kageyama, but you’re usually sleeping. The last time we actually hung out, I mean it’s been a little while, a few months I think. We thought we would see you at Halloween but I thin you were working. Then we were supposed to see you for Thanksgiving at Asahi’s house but Noya seemed upset about it. Koushi was there though! OH!” Hinata snapped his fingers, startling Daichi from his attempt at remembering any of what Hinata was talking about. Daichi looked up at him. “We hung out two weeks ago! I went over to cheer up Koushi, he’s seemed down for a little while now, but I brought him some spicy mapo tofu from that new place he really likes-” Daichi felt his chest tighten as he had no idea, still, what Hinata was talking about. “-and we hung out! We watched a movie. You didn’t say anything, but we hung out for a couple of hours.”

Daichi swallowed thickly and tore his gaze from Hinata’s caramel-colored eyes. He looked down at his hands, clenching them into fists and releasing them over and over.

“Do you-” Hinata’s eyebrows somehow furrowed closer together. “Do you not remember?” 

“No. I don’t.”

Hinata stared at Daichi, unable to believe the man sitting in front of him was the same powerful untouchable captain that towered over him in high school. The unbreakable senior that was the backbone of their entire team. He looked...lost. He looked worse than Hinata’s teammate Bokuto when he got into his dejected mode that only his boyfriend could break. The two of them stayed silent for a bit, the bubbles of the footbath filling the room.

“Thank you, Hinata- for all of this.” Daichi gripped the warm mug.

“Anytime!” Hinata grinned at him. His phone buzzed and he reached down to check it. Kageyama was grumbling about him being too loud and waking him up and ‘come back to bed before I drag you back, you idiot’. Hinata smiled at his phone.

“I should go.” Daichi finally spoke again.

“No, no, it’s fine!” Hinata tried to argue.

Daichi held his hand up. “Thank you, again, for listening-” Daichi set his empty cup down and pulled Hinata in for a hug. 

Hinata grinned and hugged his friend as tight as he could manage. “Seriously, anytime!”

* * *

Hinata insisted Daichi at least take his car to go home. 

* * *

Daichi couldn’t go home. He couldn’t go home and look Koushi in the eye after he snapped at him, after everything he had put Koushi through over these past few months. The worst part was, he didn’t even know what he had put his husband through. He had no idea and that hurt him more than anything.

_I’m holding on, why is everything so heavy?_

_Holding on, so much more than I can carry._

_I keep dragging around what’s bringing me down,_

_If I just let go I’d be set free._

He gripped the steering wheel and decided he was going to have to fix everything as best as he possibly could before the day was over. 

* * *

He drove straight to Asahi and Noya’s apartment. Noya opened the door and the smile that was constantly plastered on his face faded into a strong glare. 

“No.” 

“Noya- please-” Daichi’s voice cracked and he couldn’t get another word out. 

Asahi came up behind his shorter fiance and he had the same soft facial expression that he always carried on his face. “Da-” He stopped when Noya leaned back against him. 

Noya wasn’t leaning back to stop Asahi, he was stepping back to let Daichi in and he didn’t realize Asahi was behind him since he walked as quietly as a damn vampire. “Come in.”

* * *

Daichi spent the next four hours listening to Noya and Asahi, though mostly Noya, recount the last few months of their lives that Daichi was stuck on autopilot for.

“I’m so sorry about your mom, Asahi. I didn’t- I didn’t realize- I didn’t-”

“I understand. You’ve been going through a lot that none of us could relate to, I understand. I mean it-” Asahi’s eyes fell to the floor as he recounted painful memories that were being brought to the forefront of his consciousness again. 

“I really am sorry. I should have been there.”

“Yes, you should have,” Noya added. Asahi sighed and gave Noya a pointed look. Noya glared back but relented. He leaned forward and put his hand on Daich’s shoulder. “We understand you have been dealing with a lot. Shit happens, we know that. We just- we miss our friend. We really miss our friend.”

Daichi nodded. “I do too.” He responded earnestly.

“What brings you by today?” Asahi asked. Noya leaned back against him and scooted as close as he possibly could without crawling into his lap.

“I need to fix something. Badly.”

Asahi nodded understandingly. “Koushi?”

“Yes.”

“He’s been killing himself for you, ya know?” Noya said. Noya’s blunt honesty was something that annoyed most people but it felt like it was helping pulled Daichi out of whatever cloud that had completely engulfed him.

“I know. I’m trying- I’m trying.” 

Asahi and Noya exchanged a glance as their oldest friend cried wordlessly. 

_I’m holding on, why is everything so heavy?_

Another hour later and they had a plan. 

They called Tanaka and his wife, a few of Hinata’s teammates. So many people came out of the woodwork for Daichi, some to reprimand him for his lack of communication, but most of them were willing to help. He wasn’t sure if it was because he was the one asking or because Koushi was the one they were helping. Either way was fine for him. As long as it helped Koushi.

Noya convinced Koushi to have a sleepover at their house with Hinata and Koushi jumped at the chance for the bonding time. He was always in the middle of the group.

* * *

Koushi came home in the early afternoon on Christmas Eve. Daichi was sitting at the counter drinking tea while he scrolled through his phone. He stood when Koushi came in, the gray-haired man didn’t see him at first. He jumped slightly when he finally realized he wasn’t alone in the kitchen. He expected Daichi to be sleeping.

“Oh, shit- Daichi! You’re- in the kitchen?” Koushi exclaimed as he dropped his bag.

Daichi chuckled softly and his husband’s eyes were so wide that it had him worried slightly. “K-”

Koushi cut him off before he had a chance to say anything. “Daichi, what’s going on? Are you okay?” Daichi seemed normal for a minute, it seemed like everything was back to normal. He was sitting in the kitchen having tea and _laughing_.

“I’m fine, love.” Daichi stood and stepped toward Koushi. Koushi’s eyebrows were pushed together until he had the cutest wrinkle between them. The doorbell rang before Daichi had a chance to lean toward him. He hadn’t realized the time. “Let me grab it.”

Koushi tried to collect himself as he sank into a stool in the kitchen. He looked up and had to catch his breath. The house was decorated! He didn’t know when or how Daichi managed to do it, but it was beautifully decorated in a way only Daichi could pull off. All of the little Christmas figurines that he had collected over the years were delicately strewn about the house. There were sparkly lights above the door, he even spotted mistletoe. There was a beautiful arrangement in the center of their dining room table. It was beautiful. He felt his eyes start to sting.

Daichi pulled the door open and it seemed all of their friends had arrived at once. He greeted them one by one. Hinata and Kageyama brought three different kinds of pie. Little did everyone know, Kageyama was a bit of a baker and Hinata liked to watch (he had zero culinary skills and was quite lucky to have found Kageyama). Bokuto and Akaashi entered next. They became close with the first two guys after Bokuto and Hinata ended up playing together on the pro team. They brought a turkey that, according to Bokuto, was 25 pounds. Asahi and Noya brought their version of spicy potatoes as well as green bean casserole (Asahi and Noya argued that it was the best thing they’d ever come across in another country). Tanaka and Kiyoko brought drinks as well as way too much alcohol. Oikawa and Iwaizumi even showed up after Hinata accidentally texted him instead of Kageyama. None of them believed it was actually a mistake since Oikawa and Hinata were friends, much to the tall raven-haired former setter’s dismay..

Koushi shook himself out of the daze of looking around the house and smiled brightly at the guests. He looked at Daichi and watched as his husband looked happier than he had seen him in so long. Koushi clasped his hands together and silently thanked all of his friends, he had no doubt they had banded together to help him help himself.

“Koushiiiiii!” Hinata ran at the man he still considered to be a parental figure in his life with open arms. Koushi embraced him tightly and tried his hardest not to cry.

“Oh, Shoyou-” Koushi choked out into his orange hair.

“He came to us. Finally.” Hinata whispered back.

The room was lively and full of so much energy the entire afternoon, they quieted down slightly as the day went on. 

Daichi stood in the middle of the room and cleared his throat. He looked out at his friends.

_I know I’m not the center of the universe but you keep spinnin’ ‘round me just the same_

_I know I’m not the center of the universe but you keep spinnin’ ‘round me just the same_

_And I drive myself crazy thinking everything’s about me_

“I just wanted to say thank you to everyone. Words can’t express how grateful I am to all of you, especially for giving up your holiday so I could remember what it meant to be happy again.” Daichi wiped at his eyes and smiled. “You are all the best friends that I could ask for and I am in your debt-” His eyes felt drawn towards his husbands and his smile faded slightly as he saw the brightness in his eyes. It was always there, no matter what, Koushi Sawamura was the shining light in Daichi’s life.

“Most of all- I want to thank my husband.” Koushi’s hand covered his mouth gently, his other hand gripped his sweatshirt as he listened to Daichi. “I want to thank you for everything. Thank you for not giving up on me. I got you something- it’s not your actual present, there’s something else I want to give to you in private-” Their wildly inappropriate group of groups started ‘oohing’ and ‘aahing’. Koushi blushed fervently. “I did something and I know we should have discussed it together, but I knew it was the right decision and I know you would have as well.” Daichi reached into his messenger bag on the counter and pulled out a piece of paper. He handed it to Koushi and watched his eyes widen as he read it.

“Daichi-” Koushi looked up at his husband with misty eyes. “You retired?”

Several gasps were heard throughout the room as all other conversation came to a halt.

Daichi simply nodded. “I did. I’m done.”

Koushi started sobbing as he fell forward and wrapped his arms around his husband.

“This is a good response, right?” Daichi asked nervously.

Koushi sobbed further and nodded his head, the words escaping from his mouth not making any sense at all. Daichi hugged him tighter.

_Holding on, why is everything so heavy?_

_Holding on, so much more than I can carry._

_I keep dragging around what’s bringing me down_

_If i just let go, I’d be set free._

“I love you, Daichi Sawamura, I love you more than you’ll ever know.”

“And I love you Koushi Sawamura. There is a second part to that gift though-” Daichi stepped back after helping Koushi steady himself. He rubbed the back of his neck and glanced around at the remaining guests in their house. 

Hinata was watching excitedly, Kageyama was pretending not to be watching, Bokuto was as obvious as Hinata and Akaashi might have been asleep in his lap. Asahi was definitely asleep in Noya’s lap as Noya finished the rest of a pie.

“I want to start a family, Koushi. It’s about time we do.” Daichi reached for Koushi’s slender hands and entwined their fingers together. “I love you.”

“We’re starting a family?” Koushi sounded so hopeful that Daichi knew he was going to make it happen as soon as he possibly could.

“Yes. Yes, please.” 

Hinata and Noya started clapping overly enthusiastically, waking up both Akaashi and Asahi.

“Come on, babe, let me take you home.” Bokuto stood and lifted a sleepy Akaashi to his feet. Akaashi leaned against Bokuto as he wrapped his arm around the taller man’s waist. Akaashi yawned and Bokuto stared at him with the utmost adoration.

The rest of the guys filed out and Daichi closed the door behind them.

“Hey- look.” Koushi was close behind him. Daichi turned and Koushi was looking above them, at the mistletoe.

Koushi’s smiled reached his eyes, crinkling them in the corners. His eyebrows were drawn together, he had both glee and concern across his face. 

Daichi slid his hand up to the back of Koushi’s neck and moved the other around his back. 

Their lips touched lightly, so lightly that Koushi wasn’t even sure they actually kissed but he knew they did as he felt the familiar shock through his body anytime his lips hit Daichi’s. He pulled back slightly and ran his thumb over the brunette’s bottom lip. 

“I missed you, so much.” Koushi’s voice shook and his jaw trembled.

Daichi cupped his jaw and smiled earnestly. “I’m sorry, Koushi. I’ll never disappear like that again.” 

Koushi’s voice was hoarse when he spoke and said “Kiss me. Please-”

Daichi obliged immediately and their lips crashed together. Their hands slid in each other’s hair, gripping and tugging and pulling. Although it would be amazing that night, Koushi didn’t even want sex. He wanted to feel Daichi, he wanted to feel him and sit with him and talk to him and just love him.

Koushi pulled back slowly and their foreheads pressed together. Their shoulders rose and fell quickly as they both tried to catch their breath. Koushi buried his face against Daichi’s broad chest, breathing in his familiar and intoxicating scent. Daichi rested his cheek against Koushi’s head and hugged him tight. 


End file.
